So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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