I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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