so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
