I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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