I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
