Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
