just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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