My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
