We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
