One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
