he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just puked most of my soul out..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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