don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
