I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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