dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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