I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
