My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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