Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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