I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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