just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
