oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
