just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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