Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize