We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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