I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
