Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize