I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
