Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
