So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
