Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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