I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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