You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
