At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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