Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
