Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
