dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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