I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
