Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Randomize
