piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
