we're chasing vodka with high fives
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
