we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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