I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize