so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
