We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
