the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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