i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
