using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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