I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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