I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We have started to decorate penises.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
