And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
