He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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