Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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