Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
