I must be too annoying 4 u.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
