I can't watch pbs sober anymore
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
