exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
