Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
