Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can see the future and your future is full of penis
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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