nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
