Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just had sex on a roof
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize