Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
