he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
