i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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