we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
