OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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