Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
